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This comic. I doubt Marmalademum ever reads the posts that are puked onto this board, but if you do:
First, I love your work Marmalademum. I know you are working hard. Thank you for that.
Your skillset is SO strong in rendering, lighting, and composition. Your anatomy is fairly strong, and you only have a few issues with some awkward angles that are not commonly rendered. I have zero doubt you will get those perfect in the next year or so with how much you are working.
Please, consider taking some time to learn cadence. This comic feels so disjointed, inconsistent, and all over the place. Far more than your other comics. I think it might be because this is a longer original story. That is a good thing, keep practicing.
Currently, most of the characters are unrelatable. To the point where it is past "tv drama" over characterization and even past porn parody. Early on, define their traits and personalities. Then stay consistent.
Keep it simple unless you plan to draw literally 300+ pages. And if that is the case, explain that to your viewers early on. Because that is part of audience awareness.
Complex characters require, sometimes, multiple books to explore and give the audience adaption time. If you go too quick, it just doesn't make sense. People draw conclusions and feel awkward when it doesn't line up with their norms.
Please practice focusing on a specific audience and adhere to cultural pattern recognitions.
Early on, create a checklist of specific story patterns you want to follow.
These are really important principles to understand as a professional artist. Storytelling transcends dialog and narrative. Look into indexical storytelling. Consider that, story even controls what a character would choose to wear, how they would respond to situations.
There are literal pattern recognitions people expect from life experience when a character dresses a specific way, how they speak, how clean they are, etc.
I honestly think you are, literally, one of the best comic visual artists currently active in the online community. If you practice these other things, the sky is the limit.
Source: A narrative concept /storyboard artist in the interaction (film and game) industry.
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