Poor man never really got over it Perish hated it so much but his body still (biologically) reacted to the molestation from his granddad, any pleasure granted from the sex is drowned out by the physical and mental pain. However in the end, as the memories and feelings carry over into his adulthood, the pleasure part came back, and he did all the cub NSFW art as a way to let it out and not personally enjoy it. I think at this point all the commissions he did was a way he could monetarily support himself. And with all the pain he's carried on, he made all the venting dark stories, telling the past to the people, and I guess after having come to terms and moving on after therapy + all the comments he'd get from people who enjoys cub porn (of course) he made the decision to step away.
If Perish'd moved on from all the pain before this it would've been a fairy tales story for a cub artist, right? A family of 4 generations, the most fucked up grandfather who was sold by the great-grandmother to men who would pay to fuck him, then he grows up to be a monster that becomes a cop with connections to other child molester in the force, molested his son since birth, then continues to threaten and manipulate his grandson into sex. Both the father and son had no choice, helpless against the beast's lust, and the dad grows up to have behavioural problems, getting imprisoned and having daddy issues, losing his son to the monster, never enjoyed any of the molestation but was roped and forced to "join in", while Murphy, the son, was oblivious to the sex at first, so it was pleasure until he was old enough to find out and resist the granddad. It's more than tragic that the story was real, but if it was just a product of imagination from a cub artist, this would've been a gold mine of content. That's why it attracted so many unwanted comments for him
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