"N-N-NIGEL?"
"Oh, hello, Professor!"
"BY GEORGE, NIGEL, YOU'RE NAKED!"
"Oh, no, Professor, I'm not naked, I'm wearing quite a bit of makeup and jewelry! You see, sir-"
"What I SEE is your WILLY bouncing around! Why are you naked, lad?"
"Well, Professor, the Maharaja, the big tall tiger fellow, was looking at me rather sensually, earlier. Soon enough, his manservants dragged me to a backroom, stripped me naked and made me dress up like a harem girl! Then, a few of his enslaved lady friends taught me how to dance in the manner of an Oriental harlot! Quite a bit of fun, if I do say, Professor! Reminds me of my hazings at Eton!"
"Is THAT why you are dancing NAKED?"
"I'm not naked, sir, but yes! I suspect the Maharaja is a boy lover, much akin to the ancient Spartans! Yes, I do believe that he wants to snooch his tally whacker into my itty bitty boy bum! After I give him a SMASHING bit of the oral sex, of course! I've gotten quite good at servicing upperclassmen and the Chaplain at Eton, so I've been told-"
"GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANT, BOY! This behavior is PREPOSTEROUS and UNBECOMING of a young man of the British Empire!"
"I DO apologize, Professor, but I am rather committed, now. I've already promised my boyhood innocence, known in less colloquial circles as my 'anal virginity,' to the Maharaja. I think it RATHER unseemly to renege on my word, now, wouldn't you agree, Professor? Besides, this will be an EXCELLENT opportunity to study homosexual intercourse amongst Indian royalty! From your poorly hidden erection, I DO BELIEVE you agree!"
"... Very well, carry on, lad."
"OH, GLORIOUS DAY, thank you, Professor! This will make for an EXQUISITE entry paper for Oxford! Wait until the lads at Eton hear about THIS!"
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