Gender is a sliding scale based on multiple factors.
Gender is a socially constructed mapping of the two basic sexes onto social functions, positions or roles. It is basically a consensus of the people about what the sexes mean in terms of public society, without which the whole concept of "gender" would be void and meaningless. Whether one is a man or a woman is pretty clearly cut between whether you are able to function in the social role of a normal person with XX or XY chromosomes.
The "sliding scale" and "multiple factors" is a made up argument to alter and muddy the general gender dichotomy and force people to see, or pretend that they are seeing, many sexes and many genders which are not objectively observable and have no logical connection with one another - basically to make distinctions without differences and labels that refer to nothing. It also includes cases of people playing dress-up and asking everyone else to pretend along.
For example, when literally the only thing that separates a "non-binary" person from a man or a woman is the fact that they say so, it is not really so. It is not a gender - it's just a label you made up for yourself. Dressing in pink and faking a lisp for the same point doesn't make a difference: the need to act it out just goes to show how it is not real. Making up extra genders and keeping up the appearance by acting them is just theater - it's fundamentally lying to yourself and others.
There are two genders because the people can observe a clear and reliable difference between the two sexes with relatively little gray area in between. In the privacy of yourself, "gender" simply doesn't apply: there's no society to whom it would be a concern, so claiming that you're actually this gender or that gender, instead of whatever gender everyone else sees you as, is nonsense.
If you're not happy with that, I feel for you, but your preferences won't change the facts. I too would like to own a Ferrari, but I can't just forge the papers that say I own one and have it. Well, I can, but it still won't make the car appear on my driveway unless the entire society around me starts believing my fake paperwork as genuine. Imagine what I could do if I had that power? Would you grant me the power and the right to just make shit up and have other people comply?
Excluding pathological insanity and psychological problems that people might have, the whole gender problem is simply an attempt to force how other people relate to you, how they treat you, and choose by yourself what role you want to play in the society regardless of the society itself. It's social power politics.
Is it really a debate?
For as long as two sides with different opinions both think they're right.
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