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"Danger here!
Recent events has brought me to a place in my life where I've never been before. So I hope to share my experience with all of you, and hope those with ears will listen and those with eyes will see the bigger picture that goes beyond all the smut and garbage that really does bring down this fandom as a whole.
This whole shooting incident with that drunk maniac was a blessing in a lot of ways or me. It made me realize that I can't get through life anymore being the best at drawing certain pornographic material. You all know what I am good at and what I am lacking, but above everything I was lacking true happiness and spiritual fulfillment. Yes I'm talking about God. Regardless of what you believe, this is what I know must be done, as the Lord has been telling me all along, and continually giving me a way out of this life of sin and worshiping porn and attention and popularity and seeking affirmation from others when all I needed was the Lord's affirmation. God must come first before ANYTHING else, including my dogs, my mate, my fans, and even myself. Believe me when I tell you that I myself did not EVER want to get out of this lifestyle; to just not draw porn; believing myself as a popular artist would end because I no longer draw porn. It was a trap by Satan and the demons that have been living inside me, controlling me to believing in such nonsense. It took all of my strength to go to church today, and after service talk to the reverend about my demons and what I'm into and to help me receive the Lord into my life and to do works that are please to him and to help others with my art. So we prayed, and I cried, and we prayed some more until I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I no longer care for the popularity and the porn and garbage life I was so bent on maintaining. I have been blessed and am continually blessed for doing so.
I know most of you just watch me for my porn, and frankly don't give a shit about me as a person or what I do with my life, so you are free to leave as I too feel it would be best if you would go away. Those of you who cared to even read this far, whether you will continue to stick with me and watch me in my journey or not, I thank you. Go or stay I will love you all the same. I only hope you too will see the errors of your ways an see that all this smut is destroying your soul. If you care nothing for your soul then I pray that you will one day see the light, and that God's wrath won't be the wake up call you need as he did with me and my mate Shane.
I can no longer feed others addiction to the smut and porn and wickedness in their lives. I am causing others to stumble and enabling sin and wickedness and it's pretty much like a drug dealer. I supply an addiction, and that is porn no matter what the material is. Also the fact that there are underage children that have access to sites like this and see the things that cause them to stumble and to be morally and sexually messed up and become such fucked up deviants that are into a lot of messed up things. Whether or not it's unintentional, kids do see the shit I post, WE post on here, and I won't quote the Bible here, but there are references about causing innocent minds to stumble and straying them from a righteous path. A loving path.
True it's your life, do with it as you will, but I've accept that it's NOT what "I" want in life. I want to draw porn and shit, but I know that God is in control no matter how much we perceive to be in control. It's a fantasy. Our future is already laid out for us, and it's our choice to follow him in his perfect path for us or wander astray an die in a desolate place. Sure these things bring us short term pleasure, but it doesn't last. Day after day you crave more and more and it's never enough. It's like filling a bucket with holes in it. You keep trying to fill the bucket but it never gets full. In the end it will always be empty, much like how I felt. I'd rather much be given everything I ever wanted in the house of the Lord for all eternity than to have very brief and temporary satisfaction in this life. I'm not trying to convert anyone or tell you all to stop. That's between you and God and whether or not you can see the truth in it all.
I was in a very dark place despite being popular and it made me feel good for a little while after posting an image folks seem to love, but I kept wanting to draw more and more to get more and more attention from people; people who by no offense are really nothing in the grand scheme off things. Even outside of my art with my other jobs all I did was seek approval of others, and to get their affirmation that I was talented and doing a great job when really I myself KNOW I am talented and do great work in ALL that I do. But my old lifestyle will soon be in the past to learn from and hopefully teach others. There's a lot of actual talent on these sites besides myself that can do greater things in life than do porn for furries. I have several names that come to mind of members on here that can be great.
Let me be clear that I am not going to stop drawing or get rid of my characters, so I still own all my characters so don't think you can steal them. Not like you could because I have them all protected so I could actually sue the fuck out of you if you did. Anyway...my art will now take a huge shift and it will be intended to be out of love and to hopefully help others that feel somewhat how I do or am going through the same things. My Bonebury comic will be revised and more suited for everyone, and I also have other story plots in the works. I have several song written and plan on getting into music and what not, but that's later down the line.
I know it hard to contemplate a life without this porn. Even considering deleting all my porn from my accounts and destroying all porn I have saved made me so sick I couldn't even stand where I was left lying on the floor trying to regain control from having anxiety attacks. Classic withdrawal symptoms if you ask me, but I am now over it. I will soon light my fire-pit and burn everything that has brought me temporary joy for the past 10+ years. I know this is what the Lord wishes me to do, and you can bash me and hate me all you want; that's just proof I'm doing that right thing. Even Jesus through all his works was persecuted and bashed and hated and then was killed, but he did not ever renounce his faith. I no longer have doubts that God exists, because I see him working in mine and my mate's life so profoundly that he can not be denied. We were at the precipice of losing EVERYTHING, but instead after confessing and allowing myself to be given to him completely, I was let out of jail and able to get a good job and all my things back and now I've been given the strength to do this. This is my test and I will NOT fail it.
I could continue this well over the 100,000 character mark, but I won't do that as I'm sure most won't have even read this far. I do hope that I can now rid myself of useless people in my life that were enabling and encouraging my addiction and don't really give a shit about anything but porn. I hope to start gaining and knowing true people of faith and people that will not bring me back into the darkness again. I only pray that others will follow my example, but that's their decision. Sooner or later God will punish you for whatever reason, and instead of asking why, take it as a blessing and find the silver-lining in everything, because everything does happen for a reason whether you like it or believe it or not. Those who stick around I thank you, and you will see me become greater than I have ever been. My work must be brought out of the darkness and into the light where it can be seen by all and not just the trolls and the demons lurking in the shadows, that even now continue to attempt to draw me back. Don't waste your time, I'm not going back.
I also want to say I hold no grudges against anyone any longer. Even those who have attempted to destroy me and curse me and say negative things; I forgive you all.
Take care and God Bless."
>tl;dr - He's gone off the deep-end into Jesus shit, judges people for looking at porn, and thinks Satan was working through him to cover the world in beastiality porn etc.
I can't imagine what the poor preacher felt like when he came to them to unload all of the cringe..
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