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Hello and good evening to everyone!
Some of you may know me, I am from Holland and have worked in the comics industry. I was for example involved in Franko-Belgian comics such as "Sillage" and "Yakari".
A user on FA has asked me to take a look at "Lyons of Kosma" and to review it. Many readers were upset about the slow pacing and the unreadable dialogue, but other aspects have simply been ignored. First off: Let me say that the art style is alright, but not detailed enough for my personal tastes. Many objects and background elements look digital or like blurred photos or traced images, which is distracting in my opinion. Background and characters should match, even if one uses different methods to create the background and the characters. They are after all settled in the same world.
My personal biggest problem is the lack of any story progression and the lack of an actual adventure. Andrew isn't on a hero's Journey (ala Campbell), he is simply dragged through weird plot conveniences, but he never actually has anything to say. He never asserts himself or shows any interest in the world around him other than confusion. Now, it is all good and fine to give characters exposition, but exposition should give the readers either clues or help the world-building, which neither happened in the comic so far. We know nothing about the alien culture other than that they are either naked or wearing loincloths.
What do they believe in? Do they have a religious caste system? How is their culture structured? Who rules them? What do they eat? Some of the better comics answer most of these questions by inserting small clues in the background (a warrior praying, a carpenter building, a fisherman fishing etc.). None of this is the case here. The establishing shot which shows how Andrew enters their village (after the conflict with the other tribe) is bizarrely missing. We also never get any inner dialogue or monologue from our protagonist, which would help to at least follow the protagonists way of perception. Keep in mind that the reader does not know what the author of the comic had in his mind. The storyteller has to establish story elements either through visual means or dialogue. This isn't a video game where the "player" has control over the main character and can explore the surrounding world in greater detail.
Edited at 2019/11/11 15:27:49
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