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File: VeemonsHappyDaycoverFinal_u18chan.jpg - (1.07mb, 2000x2922, Veemon's Happy Day cover Final.jpg) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Veemon's Happy Day vee_stitch 2018/02/10 10:57:02 No.1389724   
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This has been a dream come true for me. I'm turning my very first story Veemon's Happy Day into a comic. Art is by Tolok who can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/t0l0k/
I'll be do the writing. If you like the cover and want to see how this turns how then please consider donating to my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=941634
The money will directly be used to commission Tolok to continue pages.
Expand All Images
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 11:15:32 No.1389729
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I read a story where Stitch visit Japan and Veemon was mourning about his break up with Gatomon. Veemon found Stitch in the park (he thought he was a dog), they started to fuck and became lovers.

Are you doing this comic inspired about that story?
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vee_stitch 2018/02/10 11:48:51 No.1389741
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yes, that is the story. This comic will be that very story in comic form.

Edited at 2018/02/10 11:49:56
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 14:46:28 No.1389807
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omg I think I have read a similiar story on that site full of digimon lemons (Imma massive digimon fag) called digiartistsdomain or sumthin
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vee_stitch 2018/02/10 14:59:33 No.1389809
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I know the site you're talking about. Do you remember the name of that story?
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 17:15:21 No.1389858
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>>1389807
This site is a legend and I treasure it
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 17:50:43 No.1389865
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Isn't the "don't post until there are three pages" rule still a thing?
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 18:10:35 No.1389873
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>>1389865
Probably. But it usually needs someone to report it to be enforced. Do you plan on reporting it? Because I don't.
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Furrynomous 2018/02/10 18:39:13 No.1389880
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how do you report comics anyways? Didn't even know that was a thing
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Veemon's Happy Day(Secondary Cover) vee_stitch 2018/02/11 20:19:39 No.1390419
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File: Cover_6_u18chan.png - (3.9mb, 2056x2709, Cover.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/02/11 23:36:12 No.1390516
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>>1389809
It has now in fanfiction.net. just look for veemon or stich and select the Mature and Romance options

EDIT: Nah, got it wrong. It is in SoFurry
https://www.sofurry.com/view/1201502

Edited at 2018/02/12 00:06:23
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vee_stitch 2018/02/12 09:12:10 No.1390732
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>>1390516
Yes, that's the story I wrote. And this comic will be based off that but with some changes here and there.
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vee_stitch 2018/02/18 06:34:32 No.1393390
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next page is up.

Edited at 2018/02/18 07:01:25
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Page 1 vee_stitch 2018/02/18 06:59:55 No.1393403
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File: 2_281_u18chan.jpg - (967.19kb, 2056x2709, 2.jpg)

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Furrynomous 2018/02/18 11:37:48 No.1393517
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Oh man as someone that don't like Skitch but loves veemon I would be all over this comic if it as veemon x pretty much any digimon. But that being said we need more rule 34 comics like this, so great idea and I'm sure this comic will rock for veemon and Stitch fans! :3
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Page 2 vee_stitch 2018/02/20 22:34:18 No.1394720
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File: 4_271_u18chan.jpg - (948.82kb, 2056x2709, 4.jpg)

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Page 3 vee_stitch 2018/03/04 12:02:46 No.1400948
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File: 3_156_u18chan.png - (2.63mb, 2056x2709, 3.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/03/04 12:28:20 No.1400957
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What?! With Impmon?? I was thinking that she would hooked up with Patamon
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vee_stitch 2018/03/04 13:48:32 No.1400972
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>>1400957
there is a reason for it.

Edited at 2018/03/04 13:49:29
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Furrynomous 2018/03/04 14:25:21 No.1400979
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There’s only one way to cure heartache. Binging on food and drugs.
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vee_stitch 2018/03/04 14:42:20 No.1400985
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>>1400979
I think there's another way to heal.
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Furrynomous 2018/03/04 15:58:03 No.1401019
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File: 71bb7921843a6cba7b4e63b266678a00643819a146a315f5d5f5e09a6fee0326_u18chan.png - (248.97kb, 800x450, 71bb7921843a6cba7b4e63b266678a00643819a146a315f5d5f5e09a6fee0326.png)
>>1400985
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page 4 vee_stitch 2018/03/07 15:07:52 No.1403227
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File: 4_129_u18chan.png - (2.59mb, 2056x2709, 4.png)

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Boe 2018/03/08 01:25:12 No.1403450
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Hawtttttt. Stitch is most likely showing up next page :o
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page 5 vee_stitch 2018/03/10 09:30:17 No.1404494
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File: 5_101_u18chan.png - (2.8mb, 2056x2709, 5.png)

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Coppertop 2018/03/10 09:51:24 No.1404500
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What the fuck is going on with his crotch? Is he digivolving a penis? Has he been wearing invisible lining underwear this whole time? Is a xenomorph about to rupture out of him?

Find out on next week's episode of: "my childhood masturbation fantasy parade".
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Furrynomous 2018/03/10 10:02:12 No.1404508
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>>1404500

awesome... you made my day XD
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vee_stitch 2018/03/10 10:13:11 No.1404514
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>>1404500
Invisible underwear for sure. You hit the nail on the hammer with that one.
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Furrynomous 2018/03/10 11:13:17 No.1404554
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>>1404494
What is that?? He wears invisible pants like Jake the dog??

I wonder why Gatomon and Veemon are liked in the FF (a lot of pictures of they having sex) but it's not "liked" outside of it (outside people ship Gatomon and Patamon mostly)
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vee_stitch 2018/03/10 12:56:20 No.1404582
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>>1404554
I don't watch adventure time to much so I didn't know that about Jake. I l'm not sure what FF is. I think the reason veemon/gatomon is more popular is that veemon expresses deeper feelings in the show while Patamon didn't. But that's just my take on it. But hey I least I'm going for a different ship all together.

Edited at 2018/03/10 12:56:37
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Furrynomous 2018/03/10 13:27:41 No.1404586
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>1404582
It's an abbreviation that I use for Furry Fandom
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page 6 vee_stitch 2018/03/14 13:06:01 No.1406285
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File: page6_0_u18chan.png - (2.16mb, 2056x2709, page6.png)

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page 7 vee_stitch 2018/03/18 21:58:24 No.1408283
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File: 7_82_u18chan.png - (2.39mb, 2056x2709, 7.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/03/18 22:10:52 No.1408289
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>>1408283
>this comic
pls stap.

I'm going to call Michael Eisner or something.
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vee_stitch 2018/03/19 07:05:15 No.1408395
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>>1408289
>but why?
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Furrynomous 2018/03/19 07:28:42 No.1408398
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Premise is idiotic and forced, art is often questionable, but they're cute enough so fuck it I'm in. Ya know, after a second glance, the 'art is often questionable' should be 'the artist's grasp of Veemon's character design is kinda shitty.' He's the only consistently poorly drawn thing out there and yet he's been the most prominent character so far. Feels bad man.
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vee_stitch 2018/03/19 07:44:29 No.1408402
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>>1408398
I'm not going to act like I could draw veemon any better because, I just write this. And yeah the premise was meant to be a bit forced. This was originally based on a story I did when I started erotic stories and I'm following what there was with only minor changes.

Edited at 2018/03/19 07:45:08
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Furrynomous 2018/03/19 12:33:35 No.1408479
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>>1408398
>Drawn by Oriont
>>1408402
So what happened to T0l0k drawing it? Couldn't afford his rates?
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vee_stitch 2018/03/19 22:01:25 No.1408709
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>>1408479
Besides that, Oriont was up to drawing the humans while Tolok told me he didn't draw them. And I wanted to help out Oriont to give him more help since Tolok's more busy anyway.
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Furrynomous 2018/03/19 22:13:22 No.1408726
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>>1406285
The fuck is even going on here. Is he wearing some kind of skin-colored Velcro loincloth?
I mean at least give him a slit or clothing, or make him walk around with a sheath... anything is better than random "I'll just remove part of my skin and masturbate, don't mind me".
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Furrynomous 2018/03/19 22:16:18 No.1408729
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>>1408726
>>1406285
That reminds me of the whole lucario/riolu wearing shorts thing, but at least that is a little better. Vee having a slit would have been better imo
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vee_stitch 2018/03/20 07:34:24 No.1408901
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>>1408726
What he took off was a sheath. It just matched his skin. If it was his skin I would have had the expression be more painful.

Edited at 2018/03/20 07:35:03
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vee_stitch 2018/03/20 07:38:34 No.1408902
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>>1408729
I know it's common for dragons to have slits but I'm personally not as much of a fan of slits.
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Furrynomous 2018/03/21 00:01:38 No.1409233
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>>1408901
That... is really not how sheaths work. You pull them down, you don't "take it off". And you most certainly don't pull it off completely and hold it in your right hand like a towel, like vee is doing in the third panel.

I mean, he literally goes from looking like he has a pants bulge, to showing off what looks like a kangaroo pouch with a dick inside, to holding a skin-colored loincloth.

You, or whoever is the artist really needs to sit down and look at other furry art for genitalia references and ideas.
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vee_stitch 2018/03/21 11:46:43 No.1409406
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>>1409233
fair point about looking at more art. I was trying to go for something new with a sheath one that could be fully removed like cloths. So that's all on me.
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page 8 vee_stitch 2018/03/26 17:41:00 No.1412435
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File: 8_71_u18chan.png - (2.38mb, 2056x2709, 8.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/03/26 18:19:30 No.1412452
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wtf am i reading
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Furrynomous 2018/03/27 00:47:26 No.1412572
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>>1412435
Well now that we've gone past the skin-pants part, the art isn't half bad. But you definitely need to work on your writing.

The first and second frame is much too elaborately descriptive, like you're trying to describe a ton of information in just a few lines. It makes the dialogue sound incredibly fake and like it's being read by a bad actor, try instead to either cut some information and introduce it later, or space it out into more frames.

Also "penis" is a too clinical word to use generally, unless your intent is to make Stitch sound like Jumba. It should basically just be used in medical or scientific situations.

Additionally; Synonyms are your friend. Don't repeat the same word over and over like "penis", "penis", "penis". Vary the terms... "dick", "weener", etc.

The following frames are pretty fine, though the last one is a bit confusing because you're mixing subjects so wildly (he goes from wondering about blue dogs and jokes, to being licked "down there"). It kind of falls into the issue with trying to describe too much in just one frame. Try to keep have the thought bubbles (and speech ones) follow a single straight subject. Add more frames if needed, sometimes it's better to have one extra frame with only one speech/thought bubble, than have one that has 3 different bubbles trying to convey 3 different subjects at the same time.
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vee_stitch 2018/03/27 09:09:20 No.1412724
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>>1412572
That's a fair point. I tried to add more because I was told earlier that I wasn't putting enough in terms of writing.
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Furrynomous 2018/03/27 16:16:52 No.1412818
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anyone else is really disappointed in the artstyle of this comic? the edges of the characters looks really bad to be honest.
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Dusk 2018/04/02 05:06:18 No.1415618
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I am really difin' this, keep goin!
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Furrynomous 2018/04/02 20:06:02 No.1416026
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>>1415646
That is the best page so far, and not because the gay stuff is starting.
Your art and writing is definitely improving! Glad to see you're taking the feedback to heart.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/02 20:18:09 No.1416030
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>>1416026
I'm glad that you said something positive so I could simply 'agree' with you. I'm not good at positive commentary. My inner stickler, however, insists that I point out then->than in the second to last panel.
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page 9 vee_stitch 2018/04/03 10:50:21 No.1416247
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File: 9_66_u18chan.png - (2.3mb, 2056x2709, 9.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 05:41:33 No.1416645
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What the fuck is this shit
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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 12:44:21 No.1416748
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>>1416645
Pretty sure it's someone putting their time and effort into a project they want to do, so maybe eat a dick and scroll past?
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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 21:42:25 No.1417013
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>>1416748
It's like someone spun a wheel filled with random characters from many different sources and this was the outcome.
I don't get it.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 23:00:08 No.1417028
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>>1417013
Do porn have to have logic?
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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 23:14:19 No.1417036
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>>1417028
Yes.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/04 23:20:33 No.1417037
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>>1417013
In a world where bacon flavored ice cream is a thing, most people have come to recognize that it is absurd to question the taste of others.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/05 02:47:12 No.1417068
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I'm lowkey hoping he could evolve into Exveemon at some point damn that hot digimon gay star was the one who made me into furry afterall.. But this veemon is a bicurious str8 so better not, exveemon is more purrfect being gay
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page 10 vee_stitch 2018/04/10 11:57:20 No.1419445
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File: 10_159_u18chan.png - (1.93mb, 2056x2709, 10.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/04/10 17:10:34 No.1419611
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>>1419445

>Brown stuff

lulwut!? I sincerely hope he's not talking about his spunk there.

Also, don't mean to be sound like an arse but this whole thing seems like it was written by a horny 13yr old. Same goes for the actual story on SoFurry as well. Every single sentence is; He did this. He did that. He said something. Then this happened.

Again, don't mean to sound like an arse but I've seen better writing from kids in secondary school. Now, I commend you for wanting to write this, to get it out there and to make it into a comic, but you should seriously work on your writing skills if you want this to be "as close to perfect as possible" (and if you want more people to enjoy your stories)

So, in the spirit of helping a fellow Furry improve his/her/their writing, allow me to give a few pointers. For starters; use as many different words as you can think of to begin your sentences, only start a sentence with "He/She/They" as an absolute last resort (it breaks up the monotony of reading "He did this" for every sentence). Also commas. Use, more, commas! Let's take a look at the first few sentences from your story as an example.

You wrote:

"Veemon was on his bed snoring loudly. He slept on top of his sheets since it was summer. The clock across his room showed it was twelve in the morning. His tiredness came from a lack of adventures to go on. He slowly began to open his eyes then sat up and stretched his hands above his head and yawned."

A slightly better way to write this could be:

"Veemon was asleep on his bed and snoring loudly, laying on top of his sheets as the summer sun beat down fiercly. Across the room the clock struck twelve as he began to stir, already midday and he was still tired. Lacking the excitement of adventure, Veemon was finding himself sleeping in more and more. Wiping the bleariness from his eyes, the little blue dragon sat up and stretched his hands above his head, yawning all the while."

Now this is by no means perfect (and I'm sure someone on here could point out flaws with my own writing), but it's certainly a step in the right direction.

A couple other little things as well; Try to avoid using "and" more than once in the same sentence. It works for certain forms of stylized writing (poems and the like) but should generally be avoided. As for some of the dialogue, you don't need to quote every little noise the characters make. Everyone knows what a yawn, a sigh or a grunt sounds like. Saying they yawned and then putting "Ahhhh-tchm." after it breaks the flow and is, to be honest, a little silly. If you want to give those sounds more character, add an adjective or similie. For example: "with a heavy sigh" or "he yawned like a beast".

Also, to re-enforce the point >>1412572 made; Synonyms are your friend. Whenever I find myself using the same word several times, if I can't think of a suitable replacement, I open up Google and search: Thesaurus (or Synonym, either works) and then the word I've over-used. Sometimes Google itself will provide a list of alternatives but more often than not I end up on the Thesaurus website. Just pick one that fits.

There are many more things I could point at as well but it's late and I'm tired. Besides, start with basics and you'll improve as you go.

Tl;dr
Your writing is terrible, go back and read the above.


As for the comic; It's not bad, but it's not exactly good either. Writing comics is different to writing a story. I've never written a comic before so can't give much advice in that regard but again, as >>1412572 said, don't try and cram too much information into the frames.

Also.....(and i'm just being pedantic now)

>>1404514

Should be: "You hit the nail on the head with that one"

Edited at 2018/04/10 17:12:58
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vee_stitch 2018/04/10 17:46:39 No.1419621
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>>1419611
One of the toughest things when I first started writing this was thinking like the characters first. I wanted Veemon to not be too smart and stitch only had one visual moment so he would be aware of his body but not by much. But yes the details in the original were simplistic. Turing it into the comic is proving to be more difficult. This is my first time doing this and with each page I was trying to listen to advice from others.

Edited at 2018/04/10 17:48:04
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Furrynomous 2018/04/10 18:08:56 No.1419634
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Props to the writer/artist for taking that wall of text as proper criticism.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/10 18:57:48 No.1419642
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>>1419621
I always find it tough writing about characters that aren't my own, makes it difficult to get into the mindset of that character and have them do what I want them to do (particularly where porn is concerned).

My previous post was more about story writing in general though, what to do, what not to do and how to write so that it flows better when reading it, the characters and content are irrelevant. Genuinely trying to give advice on how to improve your writing for future stories, or even to go back and re-visit this story to make it better. And you're right, turning a fully written story into a comic can be a difficult task.

Still, for a first attempt it's not bad (talking about both the story and the comic here). The important thing is that you're listening to the advice given and you seem like you're genuinely trying to improve it so kudos to you for that. Keep at it I say, and even if this comic isn't as well received or as good as you want it to be, you'll learn from it and any future stories/comics will turn out better for it.

Also, don't take my comment about it being written by a horny 13yr old personally, I can say the same about most of the fanfiction I've read, pornographic or otherwise.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/10 19:01:37 No.1419644
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>>1419634
I know right, was half expecting a "fuck you this is my story and this is how I write".
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Furrynomous 2018/04/10 21:52:42 No.1419689
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>>1419445
> brown stuff

???

Did you just accidentally the color, or am I missing something here?
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Furrynomous 2018/04/15 17:24:11 No.1421894
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My leg hurts and I wish the new page were exist.
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Furrynomous 2018/04/17 08:57:26 No.1422506
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>>1422243
> I should keep going into your stuff comes out

I think you forgot a word there, otherwise great job!
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Furrynomous 2018/04/17 16:38:13 No.1422632
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>>1422506
The intention seems to be "until" instead of "into"
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page 11 vee_stitch 2018/04/17 22:29:16 No.1422739
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File: 11_149_u18chan.png - (2.55mb, 2056x2709, 11.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/04/25 00:57:42 No.1425992
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>>1425938
I think you got the wrong resolution there bud
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page 12 vee_stitch 2018/04/25 07:57:09 No.1426133
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File: page122_u18chan.png - (1.97mb, 2056x2709, page12 (2).png)

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page 13 vee_stitch 2018/05/03 08:31:13 No.1430144
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File: page13_5_u18chan.png - (3.02mb, 2056x2709, page13.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/03 08:57:55 No.1430152
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Suddenly this is the Truman show.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/03 10:57:35 No.1430189
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>>1430144

Oh jeez, what the absolute fuck is this? The exposition was getting better but now we've taken a right on the corner of 4th and Bananas
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Furrynomous 2018/05/05 02:46:58 No.1430942
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>>1430144
Huh. Well at least that explains the brown precum, and him saying/thinking weird things (and maybe the skin pants?).

Looking forward to seeing how it progresses. I assume the pixelation on commandramon's skin is intentional? Perhaps some way to show that he's "infected" or "mind controlled" or something to that extent?
>>
vee_stitch 2018/05/05 07:26:13 No.1431006
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>>1430942
More or less this page was meant to try to explain the cum, the data and the odd thoughts, and as for commandramon he just looks like that.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/05 15:28:02 No.1431202
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wtf
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Furrynomous 2018/05/05 18:05:51 No.1431260
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>>1430152
This
>>1430942
Nah, commandramon is that one digimon that never got any kind of screen time or reveal in any of the games.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/06 00:37:35 No.1431381
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is this comic being made up on the spot, or was it already planned out? having brown cum being explained via a weirdo ass truman show-esque plot is so.. unnecessary
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Page 14 vee_stitch 2018/05/11 09:23:23 No.1433680
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Furrynomous 2018/05/11 10:04:58 No.1433686
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wtf ???
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vee_stitch 2018/05/11 10:32:03 No.1433700
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>>1433686
i wish i knew why you were saying wtf.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/11 12:16:10 No.1433746
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>>1433700

probably saying wtf because this just keeps getting stupider and weirder
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Furrynomous 2018/05/11 13:30:13 No.1433775
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O O F
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Furrynomous 2018/05/11 14:08:01 No.1433786
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File: photo5193057920261138458aaa_u18chan.jpg - (41.18kb, 406x287, photo5193057920261138458aaa.jpg)
The writing in this is such nonsense
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vee_stitch 2018/05/11 16:30:29 No.1433850
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>>1433746
the original story is very weird. I'm paying tribute to it as odd as it got.
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Page 14 vee_stitch 2018/05/11 16:48:08 No.1433859
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File: 14_124_u18chan.png - (2mb, 2056x2709, 14.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/11 19:23:15 No.1433916
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>>1433786

I agree. I love Veemon and Stitch but this has ruined them for me. I have never seen such retarded writing in my entire life.
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Veemon & Stitch Extra Pic 1 vee_stitch 2018/05/11 20:50:35 No.1433952
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File: stitch_preview_u18chan.png - (990.72kb, 1280x899, stitch_preview.png)

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Veemon & Stitch Extra Pic 2 vee_stitch 2018/05/11 20:53:20 No.1433954
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File: Stitch_Veemon_handsC_u18chan.jpg - (170.6kb, 1528x1080, Stitch_Veemon_hands C.jpg)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/12 05:08:28 No.1434179
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>>1433952
OH YES THROW ASRIEL IN THERE TOO
AS IF THIS WASN'T A CLUSTERFUCK OF RANDOM CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST PLACE

Most ambitious crossover event in history.
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vee_stitch 2018/05/12 07:00:40 No.1434194
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>>1434179
I mean I can just remove it. It's not even part of the comic.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/13 11:32:04 No.1435104
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>>1434179
That's by a different artist entirely
It's unrelated to the comic other than the character choice
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Furrynomous 2018/05/13 21:46:32 No.1435301
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>>1434194

def don't delete, considering it's one of the least bad parts about this
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Page 15 vee_stitch 2018/05/17 19:28:13 No.1437070
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File: 15_116_u18chan.png - (2.37mb, 2056x2709, 15.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/18 02:04:16 No.1437163
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Wtf XD

Edited at 2018/05/18 02:04:34
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Furrynomous 2018/05/18 03:38:40 No.1437177
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Every time, I think that it can't maintain its level of strange, every time it proves me wrong.

This comic is a masterclass in weird, and also random shoehorned-in head-people.
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Page 16 vee_stitch 2018/05/22 09:11:01 No.1439491
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File: page161_u18chan.png - (1.8mb, 2056x2709, page16 (1).png)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/22 16:23:18 No.1439556
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File: wtfdigimon_u18chan.jpg - (67.48kb, 299x344, wtf digimon.jpg)
(Haha, waiting for the obligatory "wtf" comment after every single new page...)
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Furrynomous 2018/05/22 17:06:01 No.1439574
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File: digimonscream3_u18chan.jpg - (166.12kb, 475x600, digimon scream 3.jpg)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/22 17:49:37 No.1439588
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>>1439574

You're my hero
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vee_stitch 2018/05/22 21:57:00 No.1439761
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>>1439574
thanks for the meme can you do that for page 7 panel 3 for stitch's face?

Edited at 2018/05/22 21:58:27
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stitch meme face vee_stitch 2018/05/22 22:37:14 No.1439829
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File: stitchmeme_u18chan.png - (41.66kb, 423x294, stitch meme.png)
Have fun with this. :)
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Page 17 vee_stitch 2018/05/25 11:59:44 No.1441160
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File: page17_6_u18chan.png - (1.96mb, 2056x2709, page17.png)

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Page 18 vee_stitch 2018/05/30 19:11:01 No.1444249
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File: 18_96_u18chan.png - (3.25mb, 2056x2709, 18.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/05/31 00:32:36 No.1444384
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I feel like the cover looks way better than any of the actual pages.

Also this exposotiom is hilarious.
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Furrynomous 2018/05/31 00:33:06 No.1444385
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>>1444384

*exposition
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Furrynomous 2018/05/31 04:35:43 No.1444473
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This whole thing hurts.

The writing *is* awful. There's no getting around that.

There's no structure to the story and comic; no flow, it just jumbles itself around and makes absolutely no sense.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/01 11:36:21 No.1445109
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>>1444473
It's just pure wish fulfillment, there's no real need for a plot when it's just "I wanna see these two fuck and I have the money to make it happen"
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Cringemaster 2018/06/02 10:30:39 No.1445601
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>>1445109
which, funnily enough, is the entire plot.
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Muskie 2018/06/04 08:49:19 No.1446442
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Tolok dodged a fucking bullet with this one.. Whoof.

Hey Vee_stitch, If you want, I can try and salvage the writing, for a nominal fee, of course.
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vee_stitch 2018/06/05 23:03:22 No.1447355
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>>1446442
I know i'm not the best writer in the world. It's been really hard to balance what I want the characters to do, the original story and what I want to add. I can't argue that I have a tendency to explore exposition through characters. However I'm going to no to the offer. Money is no longer an issue for me right now however I have already planned most of this already and it's almost half way done anyway.
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Page 19 vee_stitch 2018/06/06 19:46:58 No.1447803
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File: 19_89_u18chan.png - (1.64mb, 2056x2709, 19.png)
Well I guess you guys win this page will mark the death of this comic.
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Eh Fish 2018/06/06 20:16:07 No.1447830
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I don't think you should concede. You don't have to post the comic here I guess, but I don't think you should stop because a few people don't like it. I personally don't really care at the end of the day about the writing because porn is just porn and if it has a loose plot then I'm not really bothered. I enjoy seeing characters together etc. I personally would enjoy seeing the comic continue; regardless. But as long as you're happy. (I'm probably going to get tormented by some furrys now.)

Thank you for having the willpower to create your story into a comic and make 19 pages of it. (I'm sure I speak for some silent people too)

Edit: I know he didn't make the comic. Don't even go there.

Edited at 2018/06/06 20:17:24
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Furrynomous 2018/06/06 20:19:52 No.1447832
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>>1447803
Please don't stop. I love reading every page of this comic, even if it's a bit rough around the edges.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/06 20:21:06 No.1447833
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>>1447803
I feel like as a whole you bent too much to accommodate randos on this board. If you want advice from someone who somewhat lurks here, always do something like this for yourself and try not to care how well it is received.

You're the one commissioning this. It only matters what you think of it, not what anyone here thinks.

Edited at 2018/06/06 20:22:01
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Furrynomous 2018/06/06 20:44:06 No.1447839
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>>1447830
>>1447832
>>1447833

There's Being nice and there's enabling Bad writing.

I say you should stop making any online projects and keep writing lots and lots privately until you improve enough to not be a laughing stock, then come back and blow the haters away.
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vee_stitch 2018/06/06 21:07:25 No.1447844
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>>1447830
>>1447832
>>1447833
>>1447839
The artist is the one that can't keep going.
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Fish 2018/06/06 21:29:25 No.1447848
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Any specific reason?
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Furrynomous 2018/06/07 07:07:23 No.1448006
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>>1447839

This.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/07 16:05:23 No.1448142
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>>1447844

To be fair, this art is also pretty whack.
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Juan Cruz 2018/06/17 22:16:35 No.1453900
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I'm glad because the story doesn't matter, i mean is porn. And i can't judge the art style becasuse i have no personal opinion.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/18 06:31:24 No.1453992
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For what it's worth, I was enjoying this comic just fine in silence.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/18 10:33:57 No.1454055
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Please continue posting. I wish to see it to the end
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Furrynomous 2018/06/18 15:39:20 No.1454146
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>>1453992

Same here
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Furrynomous 2018/06/18 17:52:11 No.1454190
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Continue it please, i have been enjoying this comic since the beginning, its pretty cute even if the writing is confusing sometimes... But continue it, you are improving
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Furrynomous 2018/06/19 02:29:09 No.1454334
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Guys, he said the artist couldn't keep going, begging and pleading isn't going to keep the shitshow going.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/19 03:29:14 No.1454343
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>>1454334

We don't know the exact reason though, it could well be that those negative people keep saying bad things to this comic, so I wanted to tell the artist that he shouldn't mind them if he stopped because of them.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/19 21:04:24 No.1454729
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Continue it!
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Furrynomous 2018/06/20 01:53:32 No.1454820
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The sheer retardation from the people in this thread who don't understand what "the artist can't keep going" means is genuinely baffling,
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Furrynomous 2018/06/20 06:18:18 No.1454865
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I just want to say for the record that this is indeed a terrible comic. The writing and story direction are more than just laughable, they're genuinely confusing and just plain bad. I'm really not trying to be a dick here, it just is what it is. I hope the writer doesn't stop doing what they love, you only improve from practice and feedback.

For what it's worth, the art is fine, but I see now that the art is done by Tolok and not the person who wrote this.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/20 08:41:46 No.1454896
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>>1454865

The artist changed from being Tolok before it even started.

>>1390419
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Furrynomous 2018/06/20 14:14:35 No.1455000
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>>1454865

My dude, do you have eyes?

The only page done by Tolok is the cover.

If Tolok also did the rest, it would at least be of a slightly higher quality.
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Furrynomous 2018/06/20 16:02:35 No.1455023
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Now that you mention it the art in the first cover IS a lot better than the rest of the comic. I am mistaken. Regardless, the art is fine to me.
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Bee on,s happy day Jamie 2018/06/25 02:55:32 No.1457085
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>>1447803
>>1447803
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Furrynomous 2018/07/29 11:27:19 No.1473103
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So let me get this straight, they give up on the comic and try to blame it on this thread? wow
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Furrynomous 2018/07/29 18:40:57 No.1473226
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well people here will bash artists and writers who aren't at the level of the most amazing artist/writer they know so I can sort of understand them getting discouraged after reading the shit people spew...

Edited at 2018/07/29 18:41:32
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Furrynomous 2018/07/29 18:47:17 No.1473233
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>>1473226
oh no!! someone somewhere on the internet said something mean about my drawings, better quit all my projects. i mean im being payed though patreon so its not like im not getting anything out of it but better rage quit and get no money for it at all.
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Furrynomous 2018/07/29 22:16:50 No.1473292
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>>1473103
Actually I heard they are having a reform at their house or something like that
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Page 20 vee_stitch 2018/10/01 06:27:50 No.1500371
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File: page20_4_u18chan.png - (3.16mb, 2056x2709, page20.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/10/01 07:10:05 No.1500382
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Wow! It's back!
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Tartiflesse 2018/10/01 12:01:08 No.1500454
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Pretty glad it's back! It was kinda weird but enjoyable. Also that kiss is soooo cute ❤
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Furrynomous 2018/10/01 22:46:42 No.1500658
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I'm glad this continued.
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Furrynomous 2018/10/01 23:36:45 No.1500691
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yay!
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Furrynomous 2018/10/02 21:51:47 No.1500975
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I'm so happy this comic is back!
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Page 21 vee_stitch 2018/10/10 08:01:02 No.1503984
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File: 21_89_u18chan.png - (2.75mb, 2056x2709, 21.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/10/10 09:19:09 No.1504011
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I love how people before were complaining about how illogical this pair is and now that its back from being dead people are celebrating its return
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Furrynomous 2018/10/15 00:42:31 No.1505946
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>>1503984
time for fucking
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Furrynomous 2018/10/15 09:05:06 No.1506039
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>>1389729
>>1389729
>>1389741
>>1389729
>>1389729
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Page 22 vee_stitch 2018/10/21 22:21:37 No.1508408
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File: 22b_0_u18chan.jpg - (818.7kb, 2056x2709, 22 b.jpg)


Edited at 2018/10/22 06:32:22
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Furrynomous 2018/10/22 03:57:47 No.1508526
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Dialog may be off, but I enjoy it.
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Boe 2018/10/23 02:20:47 No.1508840
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>>1504011

To be fair... I liked this a lot, even though it was cringe as shit.
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Page 23 vee_stitch 2018/11/01 06:55:53 No.1512246
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File: page23_2_u18chan.png - (1.98mb, 2056x2709, page23.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/11/02 01:51:29 No.1512486
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this is pretty cute, I want to know what will happen next
Hope they become lovers... that one of them slowly falls in love with the other
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Page 24 vee_stitch 2018/11/09 06:26:01 No.1515522
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File: 24_66_u18chan.png - (2.39mb, 2056x2709, 24.png)

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Page 25 vee_stitch 2018/11/17 10:47:44 No.1518418
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File: 25_67_u18chan.png - (2.68mb, 2056x2709, 25.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/11/17 11:19:38 No.1518422
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Idk but Rookie level Digimon porn always feel like cub porn to me...
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Furrynomous 2018/11/21 16:34:56 No.1519957
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>>1518422
> never watched the subs the post
"Rookie" is the westernization of "Kodomo" or child. So their true name level is Child and Champion is Adult
Thanks 4Kidz!
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Furrynomous 2018/11/21 16:34:58 No.1519958
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>>1518422
> never watched the subs the post
"Rookie" is the westernization of "Kodomo" or child. So their true name level is Child and Champion is Adult
Thanks 4Kidz!
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Page 26 vee_stitch 2018/11/25 21:55:01 No.1521310
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File: 26_61_u18chan.png - (2.85mb, 2056x2709, 26.png)

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Furrynomous 2018/11/26 02:09:04 No.1521397
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>>1521310
Seriously?
Really pretend us to believe that the real Veemon would had chosen "never see Davis again" option?

Veemon get born JUST to be Davis' digipartner, so this dialogue is totally ridiculous
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Furrynomous 2018/11/26 02:37:41 No.1521402
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I regret reading this. I now have every possible type of cancer. This is the most asinine comic I have ever seen. It reads like a mongo would say, “What mongo wrote this?”.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/26 04:36:23 No.1521409
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>>1521402

fucking hard agree fam, this may just be the most confusing, nonsensical, out of character comic i've ever read. nothing about it makes sense. period. even within the confines of assuming everyone is just inexplicably and stupidly horny, the plot is STILL bad. the trip over the stick. the sudden truman show deal. the no lube first time instant penetration into orgasm combo.


even beyond the insane, my immortal tier writing, the art is ALSO garbage. just... wtf.

also, fucking what is this ending. it's his happy day to become a sex slave and never see his master or stitch ever again? what?? what the fuck is going on in the writer's head that this would constitute a good ending.

Edited at 2018/11/26 04:40:19
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vee_stitch 2018/11/26 07:42:31 No.1521436
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>>1521409

First I'll tackle the artist complaint, if you know of a better one with time on there hands to make an entire comic this long then let me know. I was going to do a remaster of this comic at some point. As far as story the title was designed to be a lie. Monodramon had a line that told the audience that. Even more so there was something put in page 5 to indicate something was off. I believe the saying is show don't tell. I had trouble with that at times for sure but every page was it's own challenge.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/27 03:09:29 No.1521732
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>>1521436

lol ur story's garb m8y, you don't need to justify it

we've all done stupid stuff in our lives

difference is, most people don't pay someone to draw said stupid stuff, and then share it with others
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Furrynomous 2018/11/27 11:58:53 No.1521804
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>>1521436

Really? That's the excuse you're going with? You openly admitted earlier in the thread that you wrote this back when you first started writing smut and your best excuse for how bad it is, is that something Monodramon said might possibly indicate that it's all just a dream/lie/simulation? If you know specifically which line the author is referring to?

No, dude. It's poorly written smut for the sake of making two of your cartoon crushes fuck. And then turn one of them into a mindless fuckdoll apropos of nothing. Please don't try to justify it as anything else.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/27 21:35:38 No.1521987
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>>1521804
I guess this flaming homosexual is mad because his shitty Gadget smut has been denied so many times.

I honestly don't see this as unviewable like some louder anon. It's fairly serviceable and sweet at times. That ending, though, is really bad. That background story lead nowhere with this ending, and felt pretty pointless. Unless the writtem story itself explains it better, this comic doesn't get enough time to do anything with it.

Thank you for sharing this with us, vee-stitch. You wrote the story and you paid the artist to make this. You didn't have to share it, but you did anyways. Not the best, but not the worst.

Hopefully, if you adapt another story, give the readers a compelling reason for a conflict, or don't include one at all. I'm sure the conflict could've been integrated better, where Stitch and Veemon have a moment to think about their attraction towards each other, and the whole brain-washing thing has more of a reason for existing.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/28 00:00:00 No.1522054
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>>1521310
Wait I just noticed the "THE END". I thought it was just another page.

Please tell me there's supposed to be a "Season 2" or something, because that ending just doesn't make any sense. Unless the intent was something along the lines of "And then he fucked up his life and died, the end".
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Muskie 2018/11/28 03:02:40 No.1522082
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Well, I offered.. This story's actually salvagable with a few changes, but alas.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/28 08:47:20 No.1522156
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The story was mediocre, cliche and cringeworthy but the comic is somehow even worse.
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vee_stitch 2018/11/28 11:06:43 No.1522196
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>>1521804

When I first wrote this it ended up being a clone that fucked stitch. I wanted to fix that so I made it so that Monodramon would be creating the clone. However I promised the artist the comic would short so I had to rush it. That's on me. I do plan to rewrite the story on my inkbunny account.
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vee_stitch 2018/11/28 11:11:40 No.1522198
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>>1522082
I haven't seen where you have offered anything to be honest.
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vee_stitch 2018/11/28 11:14:01 No.1522199
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>>1522054
It is the end of this comic but I do want to do this one again as well as make a part 2. I would need a new artist, so for the time being I am rewriting the first story bit by bit.
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Furrynomous 2018/11/30 00:29:03 No.1522866
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>>1522199

Well, good luck
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Reboot vee_stitch 2019/04/01 20:18:13 No.1570828
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If any one else comes across this comic here known you can keep up with the reboot here: https://inkbunny.net/s/1810018
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accounting Jeremy Lu 2019/06/13 06:07:14 No.1601665
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File: photouserPic_u18chan.jpg - (22.04kb, 180x180, photouserPic.jpg)


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